cribbings....part 2

'Confusion' has become a permanent stable state and seldom there occurs a transition to that other quasi stable state.(This proves I've read monostable multivibrators yesterday.Its volatile and I hope I'll retain it at least till my sems-that being the sole reason of studying)

Anyways not here to discuss multivibrators.I am confused(as always and tell me who isn't?)

There's a quote in my room(handwritten and put by me) which reads:

"You have to do what you have to do,to do what you want to do."
-The Great Debaters

And I was wondering and its so damn confusing.I don't know what I want to do(as in I'm not sure whether that's the best/right thing for me).I don't know what I don't want to do(as in whether/if I can, will I be happy?).A few days ago my younger sis brought up the topic of NFTE.I hadn't heard of such an abbreviation related to engg. means I know of red dots,black dots etc. but NFTE....no idea.So she clarified-NFTE stands for Not Fit for Technical Education and its a certificate issued by university.
I cried foul....I've not yet been awarded that.And its no surprise that my siblings agreed.I definitely deserve that.There's still hope-I have another year left :)

Of all ages this hell of economic depression/recession had to befall on us.As one of my frnd says-'we' are the 'choosen one.'

Dearth of jobs....sadly no dearth of expectations(others)-level hasn't lowered even.

What are we gonna do?????No Idea.

I tried to talk/reason with ma about this great economic recession and she repeated the same thing over again that getting a job won't matter to someone who knows her studies(and it means me!!!wow!).Good joke.I don't know how I'm gonna explain this to her that I suck in all subjects(correction:subjects suck) and I've screwed almost all my papers(barely managed to clear) and the fact that I don't regret(really nish ???) any of it.

I've no idea where this post is going....better I stop before it becomes a pathetic "Dear Diary" one.

P.S:I love my dear diary.

cribbings......part 1

Di's reading all these blogs these days and I can't help take a peep now and then.And it's as if the whole world's blogging and even though I hate to admit it, they are pretty good, in fact better in a lot more ways.Enough trying with words...Everyone's writing better than me...there I said it and it doesn't at all feel good.To di,I give excuses.Excuses that vary from,"They are all older to me(even a few months wud do!!)" to "Instis change you and I'm not in the league of those from elite iits,nits or iims" and blah blah blah.This and that.But you know what the truth is - I'm plain jealous.

There's more to it.The acknowledgment of the fact that they did it and I didn't.I didn't lack either in opportunities or means.I don't have any excuses.I had my chance and I screwed it.Thats it.I defend myself to others ...sometimes to myself...but deep within I know the truth.

I remember when I'd first read Tagore's Lipika, I knew I would never make a writer ... not unless I could write like that and I wasn't sad.The world won't miss me.I stopped scribbling for a while but then I went back to it again.Sometimes just to vent my anger when I can't take it out on anyone.Sometimes just to pass time.Sometimes so that the thought wont go away.Sometimes 'cos I want to lock that feeling in paper so that I could relive it. I've my reasons to write.... maybe just for you to read!.....whatever!

So I'd continue with my ramblings,with my limited non-pursuer-of-mba/gre vocab.Bear with me if you want to.